I want a man chair
11.30.03 (10:09 pm) [edit]I think it's finally time -- I'm 27 after all -- to get a man chair.
Leather, reclining, ottoman, and arms big enough for a remote and a beer (though not with actual beer holders...that's just too much.)
This would be perfection.
The Sword in the Stone
11.28.03 (11:40 am) [edit]Do people remember the Disney version of this? With Wart becoming King Arthur or some such?
What I do remember about that movie -- and it comes back to me every year around Thanksgiving -- was Wart's uncle and brother who were eating turkey drumsticks. They'd stick the whole thing in their mouth and in one pull, all the meat would come off, leaving a clean bone.
I wish real Turkey drumsticks worked like that.
Alas...
America's Team? When was the vote?
11.27.03 (2:50 pm) [edit]Every year on Thanksgiving the Dallas Cowboys and the Detroit Lions play football, though not against each other. And every year, we're reminded how appropriate it is that Dallas, which has the nickname "America's Team" should play football on this national holiday.
America's Team? When the hell did we vote on that? I don't recall voting. Nobody I have ever come in contact with remembers voting.
America can't even resolve the relatively simple question, "excatly how mentally retarded is George W. Bush?" How could we decide on something as complex as our favorite football team?
Captivate upside your head
11.26.03 (3:55 pm) [edit]So, in explanation of my Michael McDonald blog entry, I offer this:
This is the Captivate Network which is installed in the elevators at work. They flash smidgens of information such as stock quotes, the Consumer Price Index, ads for Cadillac, and information about what B-list celebrities were born that day. The people in that picture are "captivated".
To me, this system symbolizes one of the worst intrusions of advertising. What's next? The toilet? Lord knows I spend more time in there than in the elevator.
Who the funk is Michael McDonald?
11.26.03 (10:52 am) [edit]You've seen him on MCI commercials singing "Ain't No Mountain High Enough", with his white beard and jet-black piano. Some of the commercials feature interviews with him about his calling habits. Now I'm spotting ads for this guy in the elevator at work. So I ask you,
WHO THE FUNK IS MICHAEL MCDONALD?
I think some PR person is trying to create a star, like Angelyne on the billboards in LA.
Looks like Michael Bolton and Kenny Rogers finally had that love child.
Woman speaks with Cockney accent after stroke
11.25.03 (1:14 pm) [edit]From the BBC
Pretty crazy. I've heard of that before, but what the article doesn't say is how convincing an accent it is to Britons. It's one thing if your brain subconsciously picked up the accent from TV...quite another if it's a really good accent such that natives would think you're a native speaker.
The Cat in the Hat freaks me out
11.21.03 (9:54 pm) [edit]First it was THE GRINCH. Then it was that absolutely fetid remake of PLANET OF THE APES. Now, THE CAT IN THE HAT. These humans-with-tons-of-makeu p-to-look-like-animals thing freaks me out. The huge upper lip but then the human teeth---not only does it look fake and not like the original character, it actually is starting to freak me out.
Either a) animate or b) figure out a new way to do makeup that doesn't make it look like the character has a plastic upper lip.
That is all.
Writer's Block and The Beta Band
11.21.03 (4:12 pm) [edit]Writers out there...if you need a surefire way to get over temporary writer's block, let me recommend the album "The Three E.P.'s" by The Beta Band.
Works every time for me. You must treat it as a secret weapon, though, and only use it once or twice a moth tops otherwise it will stop working.
I'm on my second listen-through today...technically that only counts as one use, though.
That is all.
Wes Clark and the US Army
11.20.03 (5:00 pm) [edit]I read a recent article in the New Yorker about Wes Clark who, as a friend of mine tells me, is referred to on the campaign trail simply as "the General". I like that. It places him in a group along side "the Colonel".
The article focused on the haziness of Clark's military record. While his list of accomplishments is great, many high-ranking people in the Army seemed not to like him -- and the article posits that this was due to a combination of jealousy and Clark's own, at times offputting nature.
Well, this all actually makes me like him more. As a patriot, I know I'm supposed to be thankful to our armed forces, and I am. That doesn't mean that I get along with actual members of the armed forces all that well -- 'tis the nature of a volunteer Army, I suppose.
So, Clark's military record is a feather in his cap, and the fact that some career military folks don't like him is also a feather in his cap. I must really want Clark to get the nomination, because anything I read makes me like him more.
Running awkwardly when crossing the street
11.08.03 (6:38 pm) [edit]Have you ever noticed that when a person crosses the street -- not at a cross walk -- they always do this sort of run-walk with exaggerated arm movements? I think it's intended to let the oncoming motorist know that they're "hurrying", though the run-walk never produces any greater speed than one could get by just walking. And at no other time do people run-walk like this...except maybe when walking to the podium to accept an award or when running back to the car to retrieve something you forgot.
And just so I'm not accused of pointing fingers, I ran-walked across Wilshire Blvd today at the sight of a car making a right turn onto the street. I'm going to try really hard to not do it, but I think I'm in for an uphill battle.
Worst Album Covers Ever
11.07.03 (6:27 pm) [edit]Check this out: http://www.cenedella.com/ston...
My favorite is "Disco Dave the Turntable Slave".
Do luxury cars have turn signals?
11.05.03 (8:47 pm) [edit]I swear...these dildos zooming around in their blue shirts / white collars, cellphone headsets, and eating their powerbars can't even muster up the energy to click their turn signals.
I suppose being who they are is punishment enough.
Camping in Mexico and the story behind my header
11.03.03 (10:36 pm) [edit]Well, I've been asked by a few to expalin the header I use on my blog (the desert shot with the sign to Mexicali, which was made famous by the Grateful Dead).
There is an out of the way campsite with natural hot springs east of the coastal range on the Baja peninsula. It's the closest thing I've ever seen to a real oasis: miles of nothing in any direction and then palm trees and water springing up from the ground.
There are pictures and a website about the campground at: www.guadalupe-canyon.com.
I will excerpt from their driving directions:
[i]At approx. 65.8 mi. (near mileage marker "km28"), where a highway sign says "CANON DE GUADALUPE," turn right onto a graded dirt road, reset odometer, and go south. Smaller signs along side the dirt road will confirm you are on course.
This mostly good dirt road may include some rough areas and "washboard" which in some places can be avoided by steering to the extreme side or driving on the paralleling tracks off the road. Try not to slow down or stop in sandy spots.
At 27.2 mi., upon passing the Italian olive plantation, turn right onto another graded dirt road signed "CANON de GUADALUPE" and go west.
This last segment begins with 7 mi. of mostly good but increasingly winding dirt road, and ends with 0.6 mi. of primitive dirt road. At mile 7, after "INFORMATION" sign, bear right at fork. Slow down and maneuver carefully. Follow the signs to "CAMPO #1." You will finally pass a large boulder painted with a sign, "CAMPO #1--ARTURO Y ROBERTO." A short distance further up a slightly steep incline is Arturo and Roberto's store, which also serves as the campground office.[/i]
The dirt road is what is in the picture on my header. Note the terms "primitive dirt road" and "you will finally pass a large boulder" in the directions. Never mind the fact that you are instructed to pull off of the paved highway through a gap in a wire fence and then start driving across the desert.
As with most great places, the trip there is half the experience. I have more stores from my two trips there than I could possibly tell in one sitting.
Any of you southern Californians should pack up the SUV (you need the ground clearance) and head to El Canon de Guadalupe!
Stoned as a Hobbit on Bilbo's birthday
11.02.03 (8:51 pm) [edit]A line my friend wrote to me in an email. Hilarious. The rest of the story was pretty money as well -- involved losing a car, the police, and a writing group. Go figure.
Coffee-132,386 Tea-0
11.02.03 (5:50 pm) [edit]I thought I might try to start my day today sans coffee. Two hours in, I was draggin' ass something fierce. So, I tried tea. By the time the tea had steeped, it was cold. (Side note, it's freezing in Santa Monica right now -- it's all relative, I know, but it's quite cold).
I have to face facts: I'm not a tea guy.
Highschoolers: try to resist the tea-bagging jokes. It's too easy.
--Hugh
People who speak in metaphors should shampoo my crotch.
11.02.03 (11:53 am) [edit]Great line from AS GOOD AS IT GETS which I was watching the other day. What a sleeper movie for great lines. This was in addition to:
[i]"When I write a female character I think of a man and then take away all reason and accountability."[/i]
[i]"Where'd they find you in some Panama city sailor wanna hump-hump bar or is this getaway day and your last shot at his whiskey?"[/i]
I'm still laughing...
speed dating
11.01.03 (6:18 pm) [edit]Has anyone out there tried speed dating such as on hurrydate.com?
I need some first hand accounts. Anyone?
R.E.M. In Time
11.01.03 (3:24 pm) [edit]R.E.M.'s new greatest hits album is out and it's GREAT. It covers everything from [i]Green[/i] on, so that's 1988 to present. Their album [i]Eponymous [/i]was their previous greatest hits album which covered from [i]Murmur [/i]to [i]Document[/i].
Now, I usually hate it when bands put new songs on their greatest hits albums -- we've never heard them so how can they be hits? There are three new songs on [i]In Time[/i] and they're all great -- instant classics. Of course, I might be biased.
If you're going to buy the album, make sure to get the special edition that has a bonus disc of live recordings and B sides. It's a great listen as well.
That is all.
Lost in Translation
11.01.03 (1:54 pm) [edit]If any of you have become disillusioned with the lack of truly quality films, you need to put down your laate and your mouse and go directly to the nearest theater that is playing LOST IN TRANSLATION.
Now, I enjoy entertaining films as much as the next person -- so all you action / horror fans don't jump down my throat when I say that there is a disturbing lack of films of the originality and quality of Sofia Coppola's sophomore effort. Bill Murray fans will enjoy another great performance, one that takes Murray's character from RUSHMORE and makes him rounder and more redeemable.
The movie isn't heavy on plot but I couldn't have been less bored. It's the first movie in a while where I felt like remaining in my seat at the end not only for the full credits but for an immediate second viewing.
