dang
03.31.04 (6:35 pm) [edit]Full article is here.
[i]The evolution of basketball took another gigantic leap forward yesterday when Candace Parker won the Slam Dunk Championship at the McDonald's High School All-American Game. The Men's Slam Dunk Championship. The 6-foot-4 Parker is the two-time winner of the Naismith National Player of the Year and perhaps the most hyped female high school baller of all time.[/i]
My ring tone says I'm geeky-cool
03.30.04 (10:49 am) [edit]I wish people would stop trying to show their personality through their cellphone ring tones and would actually [u]get [/u]a personality.
At work for example, people seem preoccupied with decorating their cell phones, changing their ring tones, and downloading cell phone wallpaper. That and taking pictures with their cell phone cameras.
Cell phones? Is there anything they can't do?
I fully expect to hear on the news in the near future that a cell phone won Jeopardy, or solved a crime, or won an Oscar. Hell if Julia Roberts won an Oscar, a properly souped up cell phone shouldn't have much trouble...
Hellboy meets Cliff Claven?
03.29.04 (12:17 pm) [edit]Anyone else think that Hellboy looks like Ted Danson?
"That guy" abounding in Santa Monica
03.28.04 (11:43 pm) [edit]"That guy" held his little lap dog up to a drinking fountain and let it lick the spout while it was taking a drink. Jesus, "that guy". What were you thinking? Your cute little doggie eats poop and drinks out of the toilet.
Arnold, you cheeky bastard...
03.27.04 (7:48 pm) [edit]From the LA Times. Full story is here.
[i]SANTA ROSA, Calif. — On a recent afternoon, the phone rang in the home of Andy and Rachel Berliner, the husband and wife owners of Amy's Kitchen Inc., an organic food company here.
"Berliner, huh?" came the famous voice on the other end of the line. Then, in German: "Ich bin ein Berliner!"[/i]
I should introduce him to my friends, Mr. and Mrs. Beefcake S. Assclown. That would be a quote I'd like to hear come from Arnold's lips.
Eternal gloom of the content-free mind
03.26.04 (11:28 am) [edit]Entire article is here.
[i]US President George W Bush has sparked a political row by making a joke about the failure to find weapons of mass destruction in Iraq.
At a black-tie dinner for journalists, Mr Bush narrated a slide show poking fun at himself and other members of his administration.
One pictured Mr Bush looking under a piece of furniture in the Oval Office, at which the president remarked: "Those weapons of mass destruction have got to be here somewhere." [/i]
Good gravy.
Now, "that chick is smokin'" means only one thing
03.26.04 (9:49 am) [edit]Santa Monica took a bold step, banning smoking at the beach. All I have to say is, hells yeah.
The last thing I need is some pasty tourist in their bike shorts smoking a cigarette and listening to the Scorpions on their boom box while sipping Coors light out of a big gulp cup to ruin my day at the beach.
Now hiring: Spanish speakers who need viagra
03.25.04 (12:45 pm) [edit]A few months ago (actually, 9 months ago, I'm ashamed to say) I returned to an old employer for a part time job. I justified this swallowing-of-the-pride by telling myself that the part-time-ness allowed me to pursue my screenwriting... which it does. However, I do currently work for a company that I quit three years ago... that's not the best position to be in. But I digress.
My email account remained open for that entire time which means that when I got back, I was on every spam list in the universe. I've tried to manage it, and what I have left is a bunch of spam in Spanish.
Anyone care to help? Here are some of the words and my gringo translations:
para remover : for to remove
sujeto : subject
viagra : viagra
xanax : xanax
Perhaps I just reply with the word REMOVER in the sujeto?
Best place to find character names
03.24.04 (9:35 am) [edit]The people who send you junk mail. Just take a look at some of names of the people who sent me junk mail today:
Cathryn Carney
Colin Forbes
Dalton Davies
Delbert Barr
Elliot Latham
Emerson Vaughn
Felicia Lange
Giovanni Haskins -- my favorite
Jewel Johnson -- guess what they were selling
Josiah Rosado
Julio Hadley
Levi Lloyd
Luella Burke
Ricky Pack
Orville Estes
Toby Daniels
All of these would make great names in one of my screenplays.
It's all relative in West Virginia
03.24.04 (9:32 am) [edit]My mother used to sing this song all of the time. It's by Perry Como, which almost taints the memory...
DELAWARE
Perry Como
Oh what did Del-a-ware boy, what did Delaware
What did Del-a-ware boy, what did Delaware
She wore a brand New Jersey,
She wore a brand New Jersey,
She wore a brand New Jersey,
That's what she did wear
One, two, three, four
Oh, why did Cali-fon-ia
Why did Cali-fon
why did Cali-fon-ia
Was she all alone
She called to say Ha-wa-ya
She called to say Ha-wa-ya
She called to say Ha-wa-ya
That's why she did call
Uno, deis, tre, quatro
Oh what did Missi sip boy
What did Missi sip
What did missi sip
Through her pretty lips
She sipped a Minne sota
She sipped a Minne sota
She sipped a Minne sota
That's what she did sip
Where has Oregon boy
Where has Oregon
If you wan Al-ask-a
Go ahead and ask her
She went to pay her Texas
She went to pay her Texas
She went to pay her Texas
That's where she has gone
Well how did Wis-con-sin boy
She stole a New-brass-key
Too bad that Arkan saw boy
And so did Tenne-see
It made poor Flori-di boy
It made poor Flori-di, you see
She died in Miss-our-I boy
She died in Miss-our-I
Oh what did Del-a-ware boy, what did Delaware
FADE
After singing that, I'm Hungary for some Turkey.
Unsubscribe confirmation
03.18.04 (1:20 pm) [edit]Why do companies feel the need to confirm, via email, your request to stop receiving emails? That's like Jews for Jesus calling up during dinner to inform you that they're going to stop calling you.
If your God damned newsletter was that valuable to me, and someone else sneakily, and without my knowledge, unsubscribed me from it, don't you think I'd notice? I would, and I'd go resubscribe.
And receive a Subscription confirmation.... which would be reasonable....
Buffalo Chicken Sushi
03.12.04 (1:57 pm) [edit]Now follow along on this one:
Buffalo chicken strips, bleu cheese, and celery, rolled up in rice. Any takers?
Better yet, anyone good enough in the kitchen to make this?
